Recent Questions from Readers
A short collection of questions from readers and followers.
Published September 11, 2025
Every so often, I ask my Instagram audience if they have any questions for me, because sometimes I'll get an email like this:
I have a broad FAQ on the blog, as well as a book-specific one (which I will update when I can.) There's some I simply can't talk about yet, but there's also plenty of shrapnel from the last few years that I can share, whether you're a reader, author, or curious party in some other sense. So, some recent questions:
Do you still live in Hawai'i?
Yes, I do! I'm hitting a tipping point at which I'm deciding whether or not to stay or go, both on the island itself and in the neighborhood I'm in, but I do love it. I love being here, the space I lucked into, etc.
But I could leave. I could stay. I've been tempted either way.
On one hand, once I leave this studio, I'm never getting such a good deal up on the North Shore ever again. Moving to Kailua would be a lot easier for me nowadays (where I work part-time, where friends are), or I could decide to depart for good.
O'ahu can be a hard place to live because it is so transient; there are those who stay forever, and those who stay just for a season. (I don't mind transience; in fact, I often love it. But navigating what a reasonable in-between might look like—a normal twenty-something stint of a few years somewhere—can be tricky. What's a reasonable assumption of permanence or stability?)
I had this conversation a few years ago, but one of the hardest part about doing anything in my twenties has been the realization that there's no longer a concrete timeline. You knew college was four years. If you go to grad school, there's another block of structure. The military also operates in these cycles—so plenty of my friends here know (or knew) their end date.
The rest of us are making calls based on supposed readiness, and I've learned that "the feeling" no longer really comes for me. My choice to be "ready" for anything is what sets it into motion, not some feeling that then triggers the choice. So what is wasting time with indecision versus what is a natural period of seeing how life unfolds?
I’m not necessarily wanting to leave, but I do feel like I'm at a tipping point in my twenties of making some logical calls related to what I want eventually but don't see here. I've also considered where would be best for me to land by [redacted date] for [redacted publishing reason.]
On the list of maybes (or the seasonal living wishlist) in no particular order: San Francisco, San Diego, Boston, New Orleans, Charleston, Asheville, Nashville, Jackson Hole, Park City…
Maybe somewhere else, but I orbit around those as possibilities. I do know my location taste tends to be any place with a strong personality, and also with good access to nature and outdoorsy activities. Ideally daily access, but we’ll have to see. Right now, I’m happy to be sticking around, but there’s definitely a question mark.
I chickened out after graduating and went with the “safe” path (teaching.) Unsurprisingly, I’m unhappy with it! I now find myself itching to write and be creative again, wanting to read and learn, and I also just want a more flexible career. Any advice to break in?
I'm obviously biased, but in terms of what you can start with today if you want to prioritize reading and writing: I really do think people overlook blogging. Right now, we're seeing a revival because of Substack (and so it's the hot new thing to do anyway), but you can write whatever you want and eventually use those clips to guide whatever you end up doing career-wise, whether that's using them when pitching a magazine or just as evidence of your thought process/polish if you're doing something more visual/strategy/etc.
It doesn't need to be "legitimate" right out the gate, but consistency and voice go a long way for sure and I still feel like my blog has opened up every door I've ever had versus other items on my resume.
You don't even have to share the link with anyone (for me, I psych myself out on social growth because of an ick around visibility, so I get why it can be intimidating) but to me, my blog feels invisible in a way other formats don't so that helps me calibrate what I like and don't and what I'm interested in. Of course, it can make absolutely no money, but it's gotten me in the door. Just a thought! I'm big on ideas of "building the muscle" of creativity, and my career only works because I attempt to balance dreaminess and practicality so that it's sustainable—but it's still a long road, and I think people can give up on it when the stars don't align quickly. It's not a speedy process by any means without a healthy dose of luck (and you need a lot of luck anyway.)
(Related: Mason Currey, the author of Daily Rituals, is releasing a book called Making Art and Making a Living about how famous writers did such, and I can't wait to read it.)
Do you have any recommendations for hiking boots?
Recently, I hiked in the Teva Grandview Max Gore-Tex Hiking Boot and had a grand ol' time with the views. They have more of a sneaker feel, which I liked, but it depends on what you want from waterproofing vs. drying quickly, ventilation, chunkiness, etc. I'd definitely consult a gear site—and maybe an outdoor goods store that can fit you for your preferences—over me, but I appreciate that you thought of me.
I recently wrote a children's book. How can I get an agent?
Oh, buckle up. I have lots to say about the book querying process, and I've shared various thoughts throughout my newsletter and on here. Mainly, I'd give a few pieces of advice (although it'd be helpful to know whether you're going PB, MG, or YA):
To start, sign up for a QueryTracker membership to keep track of any pitches you send, who's open, etc. People leave comments on agents' profiles there that can be helpful, and can be not.
A lot of agents also have "manuscript wishlists" available online that can help you target who has particular, applicable tastes. I generally found it helpful to look up who had similar favorite books to me (because that means we're likely calibrated in the same way) as well as various labels and tropes that might apply to my work that could be as broad as "found family" and as narrow as "a teen narrator who doesn't go to college."
Then make a list of top literary agencies, because you'll want to make sure you're querying at least one agent from each that strikes your fancy. I went by sales listed on Publisher's Marketplace (because sales mattered most to me), although the data can be incomplete.
Once you have a list, then you have to worry about writing and polishing your actual query letter, which is what matters most beyond your sample pages. There are a bunch of resources available on this, but as a whole, it's comprised of your plot synopsis, metadata (word count, genre, etc.), and comp titles, plus some "about me" information at the end. Nailing down each of those is a science in itself.
To start, I'd pitch any applicable agents who have speedy, practically immediate response times (which you can filter for on QueryTracker) so you know if your query gets any bites quickly. The rest is a whole lot of guess and check and strategy which I can get into in more detail later on, but that should get you started. A rejection at the beginning doesn't necessarily mean your package isn't working—because subjective taste and bandwidth still matter, and many other writers pitch those same responsive agents first—but it can at least get you confident in the practice of it.
Do you have a favorite classic you’d recommend?
Several, but to start, let's go with East of Eden by John Steinbeck, The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas, and Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. I also love (talking about) Franny and Zooey by J.D. Salinger, Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes (I'm on the fence about whether or not it's considered a classic because it's old but not traditional), any poetry by Mary Oliver and Louise Glück, Alice Munro, and All the Pretty Horses, each for varying reasons. I like Rilke a lot, and I will devour anything by John Steinbeck. He is my absolute beacon.
Do you have a Nuuly affiliate link? I want to support.
That is...so kind. Here it is. Ya girl does love a Nuuly haul.
Updates on your debut novel?
Oh, this one has been a constant question. Right now, I'm starting to get itchy to talk about it again because I basically just went mum on all things book-related for several months. It was incredibly lovely to get a break from that side of my brain after the intensity of last year (and the last several), and in general, that time away has made me so excited to dive back in. I'm psyched to book club it eventually, and to talk about the process—and all its nuances and complications—as soon as I can. I really do love it so much.
This year is so much more even and regular and comforting in comparison to last. Every time I end up sleepless or a little anxious or sad, I flash back and think "wow, it's been a while since I've been so wound up like that" whereas last year, my obsessive tunnel-vision Sisyphean exhaustion meant I felt like that frequently—but couldn't alleviate it much about it because I just had to get through my circumstances with the limited capacity I had. I barely slept, earned practically no money, and had to be full-steam-ahead in all ways alone even while important things slipped through the cracks (and I hate feeling like a mess.) But I finished it. I revised eight goddamn times. I sacrificed just about everything else for it, and now that's done forever. I am, in many ways, an entirely different person now that I am no longer in survival mode. And it helps to have a certain, tangible label after that crucible. I’ve always known who I am, but it feels right to have that endurance confirmed.
Which, I suppose, is all the answer I can give you. I can't share updates overtly, but I can hint that I've started calling it my debut novel rather than my hopeful debut novel. I can speak about it in the present tense, whereas if things had not gone my way, I would be using the past tense to refer to it.
The secrets haven't really hit me yet either. It doesn't yet feel over; I haven't yet popped any champagne. At some point, all of this will feel real (and finally very cool.) At some point, I will feel proud rather than (mostly) neutral. But instead, I just pivoted to other aspects of reading, writing, routine, growth, etc. It's been very "life as normal" since [redacted book process]— but with a whole lot more stability, evenness, and just a daily sense that everything's alright and not existentially terrifying because I’m no longer haunted by the what if I spent years of my life and thousands of hours of sacrifice and exhaustion and loneliness pouring into something that doesn't work. The contrast of not feeling that way—and never having to again—has been pretty damn beautiful.
To get back to your question: yes, there are updates. But none I can share yet. More to look forward to. (Thanks for being around to see it!)
