Hi from Your Local Insomniac! Recs & Routine (+ Reading List of Course)

Throughout my entire life, I have been a bad sleeper. My thoughts race too much at night. I have trash work-life balance and deadlines that keep me up late. My quality of sleep is immediately wrecked if I even have a sip of alcohol.

In the capacity of my day job, I regularly tell public relations pros who pitch me via email that if their client's product can make me sleep better, I'll champion it forever—and I do. I have a favorite pillow that I've stuffed into a carry-on. Many, many sets of bedding, but the eucalyptus sheet set I reach for every time. A blackout sleep mask took me by surprise by rescuing my sleep in a loud hostel in Santa Teresa, Costa Rica. I can consistently write articles and reviews about the latest and greatest gadgets that have either short-term or long-term ushered me into dreamland.

I've gotten better at it over time. For one, getting an ADHD diagnosis and an Adderall prescription actually improved my sleep a ton. Since I could focus during the day and not bounce obsessively between multiple projects, the evenings finally made my brain go way more blank than it used to be around the time of night.

Post-college, I got used to sleeping a solid 8+ hours and can't go back (which means I "can't hang" on the weekends the way a twenty-something should.) It kills me that my friends go out on Friday nights instead of Saturdays because I'm so majorly wiped from the work week.

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In one of my first forays into making WLS a bit more of a creative lifestyle outlet too rather than solely a book blog, I thought I'd share a few books, bits, and observations that have shaped my sleep over the past few years.

My ideal bedtime patterns, if I were even more disciplined

A post-mimosa nap with my not-post-mimosa toddler niece.

I could be a lot better about my sleep hygiene, especially knowing all that I do about the way my chronology works. Since I'm frequently traveling, I'm especially vulnerable to jet lag (although I love when I'm coming back to O'ahu and end up automatically being shifted to an early schedule without effort.)

Fundamentally, I am a morning person, but I used to think I was a night owl just because of the insomnia bit. I do relish an evening spent winding down. My senior year of college, I had the best sleep hygiene I'd ever had.

My bedroom itself was dark and on a quiet road, which I'd never experienced before; then, I realized that noise actually significantly impacted how well I slept. I always forget to switch on a white noise machine (my favorite setting being pink noise) but always sleep better when I remember. The other day, I was having a conversation with someone about how I always sleep heavier when it's raining, and a combination of noise and pressure is likely why. (Consider this an ode to tin roofs in the summer, in the woods of western North Carolina. Mmm.)

I used to have a habit of switching to all-natural light after about 9 p.m. If I was still up doing homework, I'd try to do it longhand and by candlelight rather than switching on an overhead or anything artificial (or exposing myself to blue light.) I was generally off devices by then, and it made the distance between bedtime and falling asleep so much shorter.

I should be better about separating out my living and bed space. In rooms and areas when I had a separate living area or desk, I was much more physically cued to feel sleepy or productive. In distracting roommate situations, that could be difficult. Now, I live in a studio without room for a couch—so if I'm lounging, it pretty much has to be in my outdoor hammock or on my bed, which means the separation can get tricky.

I do need a lot of wind down time. The past year's been enormously busy. That's an excuse. I could absolutely make it more of a priority to have devoted wind-down time before bed. But I've either been bad with my time or more frazzled than ever, so I often end up working late or cramming in harried social time in the evenings without much of a wind-down. The bright side is that I crash after; the downside is that I don't have much of a segue into my snooze.

Especially since I work from home and work for myself, changing into "real pajamas" helps me cue a state change that signals it's time to go to bed. One of my roommates "in town" (when I lived in Honolulu proper) previously said I own more pajama sets than anyone she's ever met. For one, it's a family thing. We love 'em and often get them for holidays. For another, I'm regularly wearing a silky little slip just because it feels good to me, and I'll get into a long, soft pajama set especially if I'm feeling sad.

I should also read at night. This used to be an automatic default for me. Nowadays, I'll usually read in the middle of the night if I can't fall asleep, but also: I've read a lot of library eBooks and gotten lazy about it, so I'm generally reading on my phone rather than an eReader with a separate book light, which would be healthier. I've tried blue light glasses before (and used to majorly—and deservedly—get made fun of for wearing them for the aesthetic in college) but not sure if they're actually that effective. Maybe I should put a blue light filter on my devices, like they make for laptops and phones nowadays? (I think I actually may have one on my phone.)

I try not to take sleep supplements largely because melatonin and whatnot have made me groggy. I've tried the Sleepy Girl Mocktail. I usually only have one coffee during the day, and a Diet Coke in the afternoon, but restrict the rest of my caffeine intake past maybe 12 p.m. because I know it will disrupt my sleep. Still, I'll occasionally rely on a melatonin or Zzzquil just if I'm really struggling or discombobulated, but I know I'd rather have clarity in the morning if possible. Recently, I've been trying a mint that's been effective enough without the grogginess.

Similarly, I'm not an instant napper. If I'm napping, I either got no sleep the night before — which isn't out of the realm of possibility — or am getting sick. I'm so jealous of my father for his ability to decide he's going to power nap, take a 20-minute snooze, and continue his workday. Often, I'm in the hazy in-between of being too tired to get anything done but not sleepy enough to actually fall into unconsciousness. I have to set aside like a solid two hours aside to even fall asleep, and then I'll zonk out for several hours because I couldn't have predicted when and thus couldn't set an alarm. If I'm "napping" during the afternoon, I just have my eyes closed while I'm horizontal and slightly catatonic.

I sleep better in the cold, with weight on me. A lot of homes in Hawai'i don't have air conditioning, and energy costs are higher here than elsewhere in the country. When living in my previous place, I finally caved and bought a portable A.C. because the house (which I worked from) would get so stiflingly hot during the day that I couldn't focus on my work. My car also doesn't have A.C. (brutal) so I needed at least one point in my day or night that I could feel refreshed beyond a cold shower.

I also pretty much need to sleep under a fluffy duvet to physically relax, which was near-impossible when the heat just makes a single sheet feel like it's smothering you. When I moved into my studio, I got the luxury of a solar panel-powered wall unit, which I keep chilly and crispy. It's absolute heaven for bundling up at night. (The best combination was when I lived in Park City during the winter of 2022: snowy mornings and a heated blanket. Ah!)

I like to wake with the sun, so blackout curtains have always thrown me off. I absolutely relish the complete darkness in a hotel, and am definitely bothered by light leaks, but would rather sacrifice my ability to conk out so that I'm not unpleasantly surprised in the morning by how difficult it is to get up. I need the type of richy-rich sliders that automatically go up and down or become more transparent/opaque with your alarm clock. And yes, I have tried blackout curtains in combination with a sunset /sunrise lamp, but can't quite master the duo!

A sleep tracker has been transformative. I used to get sick all the time in high school and college because I ran myself into the ground. I still do that, sure, but I know when to call it and rest a little bit more because my HRV — heart rate variability — score will absolutely plummet. If I get trash sleep scores two or three nights in a row, I know I need to preemptively take some cold medicine and hit the hay earlier. Because I can finally cut off a cold before the symptoms show up (and by then, it's usually too late for me), I'm a lot better at staying healthy. And of course, knowing when to push myself in a workout or day versus take a rest without feeling automatically guilty for not being entirely optimized. I use the Garmin Forerunner 245, but others are also good; by now, I've tried multiple fitness trackers and they each have their pros and cons.

Reading List + Studies That Informed My Thoughts

When I read nonfiction, I'm often seeking psychological or scientific books that explain why I do something. I don't like self-help or inspirational narratives. Instead, I want to know the why and the how of specific instincts or patterns, so I want to read deep dives on human behaviors. Originally, I thought that meant I should study the history of science, which formed the baseline of my coursework. In hindsight, I totally should have just gone for psych, but c'est la vie.

Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams by Matthew Walker

Book: Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams by Matthew Walker
Release Date: June 19, 2018
Publisher: Scribner Books
Format: Paperback
Source: Borrowed

With two appearances on CBS This Morning and Fresh Air's most popular interview of 2017, Matthew Walker has made abundantly clear that sleep is one of the most important but least understood aspects of our life. Until very recently, science had no answer to the question of why we sleep, or what good it served, or why we suffer such devastating health consequences when it is absent. Compared to the other basic drives in life--eating, drinking, and reproducing--the purpose of sleep remains more elusive.

Within the brain, sleep enriches a diversity of functions, including our ability to learn, memorize, and make logical decisions. It recalibrates our emotions, restocks our immune system, fine-tunes our metabolism, and regulates our appetite. Dreaming creates a virtual reality space in which the brain melds past and present knowledge, inspiring creativity.

In this "compelling and utterly convincing" (The Sunday Times) book, preeminent neuroscientist and sleep expert Matthew Walker provides a revolutionary exploration of sleep, examining how it affects every aspect of our physical and mental well-being. Charting the most cutting-edge scientific breakthroughs, and marshalling his decades of research and clinical practice, Walker explains how we can harness sleep to improve learning, mood and energy levels, regulate hormones, prevent cancer, Alzheimer's and diabetes, slow the effects of aging, and increase longevity. He also provides actionable steps towards getting a better night's sleep every night.

Clear-eyed, fascinating, and accessible, Why We Sleep is a crucial and illuminating book. Written with the precision of Atul Gawande, Andrew Solomon, and Sherwin Nuland, it is "recommended for night-table reading in the most pragmatic sense" (The New York Times Book Review).

My review from fall 2020: My mattress was delayed for a month in the mail, and that’s been a whole thing. For awhile, I genuinely think I was slightly delirious during the daytime. Since moving in, I’ve been alternating between a half-deflated air mattress and our couch. During quarantine, I slept on a futon. Beforehand, I’d been on vacation with my family, so largely slept on couches or sharing a bed with my sister. Sleeping on a real mattress feels so good, and made me feel so much better physically. Refreshed.

I used to run myself into the ground way too much about sleep, and have turned that around in the past few years. Early to bed, early to rise. Prioritizing the number of hours. Unfortunately aware of how much caffeine and/or alcohol degrades my sleep quality, so being aware of that when I have a trash week of sleep. During fall 2019, I had excellent sleep hygiene, and now I know how much better I feel when I adopt those practices. It doesn’t mean I’m great at it when I’m distracted by friends, or screens, or project deadlines, but it does constantly nag at me when I’m neglecting the recommendations in this read.

Some of the material covered in Why We Sleep is predictable, while some of it is specific and concrete in a way that I usually crave from my nonfiction. If you struggle with sleep at all, in any context, it’s a good resource to have. It’s not a how-to. Rather, it tackles a lot of studies without necessarily applying them to your daily life, but it’s relatively easy to infer the messages conveyed by each topic.

Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman

Book: Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman
Release Date: June 27, 2023
Publisher: Picador Books
Format: Paperback
Source: Library / Bought After

There's a good reason why everyone has been talking about Oliver Burkeman's New York Times bestseller, Four Thousand Weeks. Nobody needs to be told there isn't enough time. Whether we're starting our own business, or trying to write a novel during our lunch break, or staring down a pile of deadlines as we're planning a vacation, we're obsessed with our lengthening to-do lists, overfilled inboxes, work-life balance, and ceaseless struggle against distraction. We're deluged with advice on becoming more productive and efficient and life hacks to optimize our days. But such techniques often end up making things worse. The sense of anxious hurry grows more intense, and yet the most meaningful parts of life seem to lie just beyond the horizon. Still, we rarely make the connection between our daily struggles with time and the ultimate time management problem: the challenge of how best to use our four thousand weeks, the average length of a human life.

Drawing on the insights of both ancient and contemporary philosophers, psychologists, and spiritual teachers, Oliver Burkeman delivers an entertaining, humorous, practical, and ultimately profound guide to time and time management. Rejecting the futile modern obsession with "getting everything done," Four Thousand Weeks introduces readers to tools for constructing a meaningful life by embracing finitude, showing that many of the unhelpful ways we've come to think about time aren't inescapable, unchanging truths, but choices we've made as individuals and as a society—and that we can do things differently.

This book was one of my favorite books of 2023 and so formative for me. Like I said, I tend to go for histories or scientific explanations instead of loosey-goosey musings on very human, ingrained patterns in an attempt to optimize myself, so I loved how this read sort of pushed back against the bro-style wellness culture emphasis on productivity (which I'm guilty of falling into) instead for an analysis of how we think about time management and how our sense of time has developed on a widespread level. What sociological and economic developments shaped our calendars, understanding of efficiency, and more? Especially in a society obviously enmeshed in capitalism.

This book instead addresses the undercurrent feel and fear that we never have enough time, which hit me hard. I'll be the first to admit that I have what I call my "prodigy complex." Because I started a significant project at age 13 and heard for years and years how my accomplishments were impressive because of my age, I often feel incredible pressure to be outstanding early, partly for my own security: if I can get my goals done before the end of my twenties, then surely I'll have set myself up for a fulfilling life by making sacrifices rather than worrying for my entire life that I'll never get them done. I know that there will be plenty of fulfillment to come my way throughout all the years of my life, but I still feel the need to hurry.

I feel the same way about nostalgia, memory, and preservation, often obsessing about capturing a memory before I leave it. For that reason, I'm doubtful I'll ever fully be able to live "in the moment" the way some people can, and need to find a middle ground. My fascination with time also has to do tidbits of perception I find inspiring or invigorating: how flow states stretch your time in a way that optimally engages your brain and pleasure, or how time slows when you travel because you notice more detail as written by Dr. Julia Shaw in The Memory Illusion: Remembering, Forgetting, and the Science of False Memory (as your brain categorizes more volume in the assumption that you will not return, but skips over this in places it assumes you will return to.)

So sleep is hard for me, because I'm always pushing. But sleep also has a lot to do with the accurate preservation of memory because your brain does a lot of filing and organization while you sleep so as not to degrade its accuracy. Which is why when I've been sleepless, I often feel drunk. (Similarly: have noticed I can be "more fun" on a night out by being caffeinated rather than intoxicated, on many an occasion.)

Nowadays, I'm very aware that I work better if I sleep properly, and for that reason, am glad I freelance. If I wake up and my ability to write is absolutely fucked, I know it's better for me to try to get an extra hour so that I can properly string together words and organize my thoughts (writing = thinking) rather than push through the way I would have in college. So this book has partially shifted what I prioritize and why, as well as reducing the friction of feeling the need to go-go-go more than I do already, which is probably already unhealthy. I'm also reminded to follow some natural rhythms; for example, I love that Hawai'i largely is up and down with the sun, and know that any partner I have in the future will likely need to have a similar scheduling preference. Sure, sleep in, love. But I'm best in the morning so it's maybe best I land with someone who is also best in the morning?

Related Reading: The Night Girl Finds a Day Boy — a Modern Love column from The New York Times