The Molecule of More by Daniel Z. Lieberman and Michael E. Long

2020 Next Generation Indie Book Awards Winner - Science Category
2018 Forward Indies Finalist - Psychology Category


Why are we obsessed with the things we want only to be bored when we get them?


Why is addiction perfectly logical to an addict?


Why does love change so quickly from passion to indifference?


Why are some people die-hard liberals and others hardcore conservatives?


Why are we always hopeful for solutions even in the darkest times—and so good at figuring them out?

The answer is found in a single chemical in your brain: dopamine. Dopamine ensured the survival of early man. Thousands of years later, it is the source of our most basic behaviors and cultural ideas—and progress itself.

Dopamine is the chemical of desire that always asks for more—more stuff, more stimulation, and more surprises. In pursuit of these things, it is undeterred by emotion, fear, or morality. Dopamine is the source of our every urge, that little bit of biology that makes an ambitious business professional sacrifice everything in pursuit of success, or that drives a satisfied spouse to risk it all for the thrill of someone new. Simply put, it is why we seek and succeed; it is why we discover and prosper. Yet, at the same time, it's why we gamble and squander.

From dopamine's point of view, it's not the having that matters. It's getting something—anything—that's new. From this understanding—the difference between possessing something versus anticipating it—we can understand in a revolutionary new way why we behave as we do in love, business, addiction, politics, religion—and we can even predict those behaviors in ourselves and others. 

In The Molecule of More: How a Single Chemical in Your Brain Drives Love, Sex, and Creativity—and will Determine the Fate of the Human Race, George Washington University professor and psychiatrist Daniel Z. Lieberman, MD, and Georgetown University lecturer Michael E. Long present a potentially life-changing proposal: Much of human life has an unconsidered component that explains an array of behaviors previously thought to be unrelated, including why winners cheat, why geniuses often suffer with mental illness, why nearly all diets fail, and why the brains of liberals and conservatives really are different.

Why I Picked It Up

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I'll have to review this book in a similar fashion to how I did for Marcus Aurelius's Meditations: one more straightforward review, and one collection of notes in which I can just share each line and insight that resonated with me. (There were many. This is the new You're Not Listening for me in terms of insight and relevance.)

I've been thinking a lot this year about how we decide what we want, whether I'm in the moment/past/future too often, what's addictive to me, etc,. We all know that phones have totally screwed our dopamine systems, but what exactly does that mean? And then this year especially, I've been majorly fascinated by neurotransmitters, brain regulation, and how we decide what our respective baselines are.

I bought this way back in 2020, I want to say, and I could have sworn I'd already read it. But I must have been thinking of Dopamine Nation or similar (which I didn't like) because The Molecule of More synthesized so many of my interests and left me a little mindblown, if I'm being honest. I would have remembered feeling that way upon finishing it the first time.

The book is surprisingly holistic, layering together a lot of aspects of the human experience to explain how dopamine impacts each. It gets detailed, but is also big picture—a tough balance to strike.

What It's About

We're all pretty much governed by two systems of processing. Dopamine is the wanting and prediction system, keeping us striving for the next best thing. It's purely about anticipation. As books like The Science of Storytelling and The Experience Machine have already established for me (a total mindfuck), we are constantly making unconscious predictions that inform how we interpret reality. Reality doesn't exist independently, but rather as relational: as the mismatch between what we perceive and what we predict, which is where emotion (relief, pleasure, disappointment) enters the picture.

“Yet sometimes when we get the things we want, it’s not as pleasant as we expect. Dopaminergic excitement (that is, the thrill of anticipation) doesn’t last forever, because eventually the future becomes the present.”

But we tend to confuse that with genuine pleasure, which is in a different system—what the book calls here-and-now processing. The systems of each affect everything from how we connect to others, how we perceive time, and even how we approach politics, sex and love, drugs, competition and success, creativity, etc,.

The H&N system includes serotonin, oxytocin, endorphins, and a class of chemicals called endocannabinoids which give us pleasure from sensation and from emotion. In other words, they give us the satisfaction based on what's there rather than pushing us to want what's not—but so much of us get tricked into only operating in pursuit of dopamine.

In dopaminergic processing, surprise is the source of our pleasure—and at a certain point, whatever's sparking that activation ceases to be as surprising to us. So when that happens and our dopamine levels suddenly drop, we feel less activated, which we misinterpret as not actually liking or wanting what we thought we did—unless you shift systems to provoke H&Ns, which are longer-lasting (and what actually make us happy and fulfilled and satisfied.)

“His idea of satisfaction is not satisfaction at all. It’s pursuit, which is driven by dopamine, the molecule that cultivates perpetual dissatisfaction...From dopamine’s point of view, having things is uninteresting. It’s only getting things that matters.”

When you're more familiar with something or someone, you anticipate them better—so your dopamine doesn't spike as much. Satisfaction has nothing to do with it.

“Dopamine does not respond to reward. It responds to reward prediction error.”

Even more interesting: we react differently to things within our reach versus outside of it, so whichever system kicks in will affect you differently. Which is why things you want that are close to you are processed differently than things you want that are far from you which are processed differently from things you have that are close to you versus things you have that are far from you. Trippy. Different chemicals and pathways activate in the brain for each.

“The brain works one way in the peripersonal space and another way in the extrapersonal space.”

Evolutionarily, there's a purpose to this grid of sorts. As the book points out, the food you have in arm's reach is critically different from the food you could get. And food you want is different from food you know you could secure. It benefits us, survival-wise, to want more, more, more. And mechanisms—like our dopamine spiking when we win competitions—have a survivalist purpose too. If you were immediately satisfied after dominating, well. More likely a competitor could come knock you off your pedestal. It's best, evolutionarily, to never fully let down your walls.

So if you're higher in dopamine, you also tend to be higher in sensitivity to loss. Within our brains, the negative effects of a loss are more than twice as impactful as the positive effects of a gain. (Also, fun fact: we actually make worse decisions because of loss aversion; scientifically, you should make harder decisions when feeling positive, because you're actually more rational when not in that mindset. A scientific case for optimism and warmth versus coldness!)

I feel like most people discuss dopamine re: phones and social media being so addictive, and the book does a great job talking about why negative news is so effective at sticking in our memory—and why social media algorithms are so good at capturing our attention. These quick hits of dopamine hijack our systems so we are constantly on guard, which means we keep going back to those phone notifications, making it impossible to stick to here-and-now processing, live in the moment versus in the shadows of our phones, etc,.

“Every part of living is divided in this way: we have one way of dealing with what we want, and another way of dealing with what we have.”

I was thrilled by the explanation of how our perception of time plays a role too. I love reading about the funky, warped nature of how time passes for each of us. The book clearly and thoroughly explained why dopamine and time are related, and provided actionable insights for shifting from anticipation-based pleasure to more gratifying in-the-moment pleasure.

“The future isn’t real. It’s made up of a bundle of possibilities that exist only in our minds. Those possibilities tend to be idealized—we usually don’t imagine a mediocre outcome. We tend to think about the best of all possible worlds, and that makes the future more attractive. The desire circuit often breaks its promises—which is bound to happen, because it plays no role in generating feelings of satisfaction.”

“Dissatisfaction with the present state of affairs is an important ingredient in bringing about change.”

And The Molecule of More explains our systems and reasoning without demonizing the chase either, so you won't feel bad if you're someone who's always going after the next, shiniest thing; it links most conclusions to an evolutionary basis, which always makes me feel better.

So if you feel like you're always jumping relationships, planning your next trip instead of enjoying where you are, etc,. etc,.—don't worry yet. You've adapted the way you have for a purpose, but there are little, subtle ways to shift the framework.

“Dopamine isn’t the pleasure molecule, after all. It’s the anticipation molecule. To enjoy the things we have, as opposed to the things that are only possible, our brains must transition from future-oriented dopamine to present-oriented chemicals.”

The book also extensively covers how your dopamine levels affect your dating and sexual experiences, because so much can be about "the chase." It writes about the differences between passionate to companionate love, how they shift either/or depending on your processing, why and how you might suddenly gain or lose interest, and the literal process within your brain re: dopamine vs. pleasure as you hook up with someone based on what framework you're operating in at the time. Fascinating.

And according to the book, people operate differently based on whether they prioritize agentic or affiliative relationships, which is a good example of how The Molecule of More illustrates its points and offers shifts without writing off those whose personalities largely operate under more dopaminergic frameworks.

“An agentic relationship can be beautifully humane, too. Ralph Waldo Emerson, the American poet, wrote: “Shall I tell you the secret of the true scholar? It is this: Every man I meet is my master in some point, and in that I learn of him.” Such a relationship is agentic because the relationship is about gain—gaining knowledge. It’s not about the H&N pleasure of having company.”

I'm currently reading Ralph Waldo Emerson, and a book of his essays is my first book of 2025, so I appreciate the reference.

Voice & Tone & Style

I know some people who don't really like neuroscience and psychology because they feel like it might simplify individuals to their elements too much. They feel it reduces their sense of control over themselves, or their free will.

“Antonio Damasio, a neuroscientist at the University of Southern California and the author of Descartes’ Error: Emotion, Reason, and the Human Brain, notes that most decisions cannot be approached in a purely rational way. Either we don’t have enough information or we have far more than we can process.”

For me, I've always found the reverse to be true—that my understanding of biology and chemistry helps me feel more empowered in my autonomy and choice—but understand where the instinct to recoil comes from.

For those people, I'd say The Molecule of More might be exactly what you need. It's not a self-help book so never comes off preachy, but it does have a lot of serviceable information, and keeps everything focused on a lens of what control while stressing why these systems are in place. It's structured around detailed studies, explanations, and critiques/evaluations of each, so feels extremely fair and thorough in its points and considerations. (I think I've used the word thorough at least twenty times so far in this review.) Dopaminergic processing is crucial to our living, and higher or lower levels are not inherently good or bad, but they do affect our general satisfaction, relationships, and behaviors—and I'd say most everyone just wants to be as happy and clear-headed and meaningful possible.

“The art of persuasion intersects with neuroscience at the point where decisions are made and action is taken—that is, the intersection of desire dopamine and control dopamine circuits where we weigh options and make decisions about what we think will best serve our future.”

It goes into exhaustive, extensive detail when it needs to and knows when to go broad too, so I was incredibly impressed by its clarity and pacing. It's overall well-balanced and graceful while navigating the complexity of such overarching ideas of who we are, what we want, and what ultimately matters to each of us.

Something like this does so much more for me than any hokey inspirational narrative, or even many books and treatises of philosophy—because I understand the HOW behind the neuro wiring, and can apply it to my own beliefs and behavior without feeling like I'm giving up my sense of control. The concept coexists with the teachings of a lot of the philosophers I drift towards—but just fleshes out the backend in a way that will actually make me remember and apply everything. It roots!

The Molecule of More frankly just feels so dead-on right, which gives me a lot of hope and certainty that I can change every little way I might accidentally sabotage myself. It feels like a very accurate key to both myself and others!

My Personal Connection to the Chase

As I mentioned, I'll definitely compile and annotate some of my favorite notes from The Molecule of More, so will share more thorough thoughts on part two of my review. But overall, I loved how deep and accurate the book felt to my current experiences. I could wade through the science as a whole, or apply specific knowledge to circumstances or questions I've had lately.

A big reason this book likely resonated with me this year is that I've worked really hard to confront some less comfortable truths within myself about the chase, my presence, sense of self, connections, and more. The cool part of devoting myself for seven years to my hopeful debut novel is that it could be very, very close to selling as the major, life-affirming book deal I've spent my entire life working towards and the movie/limited TV series (...) I joke about but secretly believe in.

Throughout my life, I've told myself I frontloaded my efforts, that if I set this all up while I'm young, then everything will work out for me later on. Financially, existentially, etc,. But suddenly, that dream is...here—and potentially a reality.

????

Achieving this could be way scarier than I thought, but not for the reasons I expected. What if I secretly just love the chase, or am living in the future? Will the goalposts move forever? Do I want them to?

“Desire is persistent, but happiness is fleeting.”

Maybe the anticipation is addictive instead; more gratifying pleasure and peace doesn't activate the same feedback loop and sense of being "up." Things that activate our here-and-now processing rather than our dopaminergic processing are more consistent, satisfying, and longer lasting—but less activating to our systems.

“People with dopaminergic personalities may do well when coping with novel situations, but they often have difficulty with relationships. That’s important because skillful social functioning also provides an evolutionary advantage.”

Which, for the record, is also why we're occasionally drawn to people or things that are worse for us: because they have us buzzing. Thus is the nature of intermittent reward, too. Unpredictability is more exciting than goodness, because we're more wired to be attuned to threats, surprises, and things that may disappear.

“We are suspicious of things that come to us too easily.”

And for the record, this goes along with a conversation or observation I've had a lot recently with friends, which is that sometimes we unintentionally punish consistency.

It's easy to see where that pursuit of dopamine ripples into other aspects of my life beyond my ambition too. I obviously adored the chapter on creativity, about the pros and cons of its effects on abstract thinking, breakthroughs, and genius. I'm competitive too, which feeds the dopamine loop. Those with high levels also tend to have trouble turning off their thoughts, etc,. etc,.

“ It’s not surprising that winning competitions releases dopamine. The surge of dopamine feels good, but it’s different from a surge of H& N pleasure, which is a surge of satisfaction. And that difference is key: the dopamine surge triggered by winning leaves us wanting more.”

Those who score high in grit and tenacity also tend to test higher in dopamine levels too. Dopamine levels can affect everything from your politics to how willing you are to sacrifice your morals to your emotional openness to your attention span too (which I'll go into more detail about while book club-ing this one.)

“Desire not only gives us motivation to act; it also gives us patience to endure.”

And while we might associate dopamine and wanting with a lack of willpower or an excess of visible emotion, the opposite is true. Highly controlled people are actually probably more dopaminergic than here-and-now.

“Think of dopaminergic calculation and instinctive response as opposite ends of a seesaw: when one is high, the other is low. The ability to suppress emotions such as fear, anger, or overwhelming desire provides an advantage in the midst of conflict. Emotion is almost always a liability that interferes with calculated action. In fact, a common strategy of domination is to stimulate emotional reactions in one’s adversary to interfere with his ability to execute his plans.”

“They are obsessed with making the future more rewarding at the expense of being able to experience the joys of the present.”

Certain insights make fundamental sense to me. I appreciate knowing the WHY behind why activities, hobbies, or habits of mine might feel good—like why I feel most grounded when I'm "deepening" a sensory experience and why that helps me meditate more than letting my brain wander in a yoga practice, for example. I figured out my philosophy of "sensory variation" being my personal key to happiness long before the book explained to me why. Which is also addressed indirectly in books like Flow (flow states), Grit (through commitment, appreciation for nuance replaces novelty), Paradox of Choice (narrow in), etc,.

And that's what the book lands on too. Dopamine levels do correspond with success, focus, pursuit, exploration, self-sufficiency, etc,. All things I value! The higher your dopamine levels, the more control you feel like you need in order to be happy. But that also leaves us always wanting slightly more.

“Some people have so much control dopamine that they become addicted to achievement, but are unable to experience H&N fulfillment. They flee the emotional and sensory experiences of the present. For them, life is about the future, about improvement, about innovation. ”

“Sometimes we act one way: cold, calculating, seeking to dominate the environment for future gain. Sometimes we act another: warm, empathic, sharing what we have for the present joy of making others happy. Dopamine control circuits and H& N circuits work in opposition, creating a balance that allows us to be humane toward others, while safeguarding our own survival.”

So I don't necessarily want to only ever engage my dopaminergic systems. So certain frameworks help me figure out how to kick into more here-and-now processing.

And luckily, this all meshes entirely with other realizations, habits, and curiosities I've had this year, or truths I already know about myself and what feels good. Working with my hands, pursuing mastery in a hobby, reading, getting outside, trying to help others...

It's all part of the same evolution. These insights seem random all split out, but I'll explain them more when I go through all my favorite specific quotes. According to the book:

• READ!
• Activate and deepen the senses.
• Be curious about others.
• View nuance as novelty.
• Alcohol, phones, exposure to so many choices—all things that wreak havoc on these systems.
• Practice and articulate active gratitude for what you do have—as it is now—versus daydreaming.
• Increase serotonin levels.
• Be in person whenever possible (also: this book made me anti-digital connection and convinced I will never connect with anyone unless they are literally in front of me, lol)
• Similarly, arguing with others literally doesn't work.
• Related: physical non-sexual contact, repeated over time, is what breeds closeness in the H&N systems rather than the dopamine chase. But it has to be nonsexual (to a point) for that to take effect.
• Think less about the future (because daydreaming is all dopamine) and have less of a wandering mind—basically, focus is where the joy is. "Reality is the richest source of the unexpected. Fantasies that we conjure in our minds are predictable. We go over the same material again and again."
• If you're struggling with a problem, think of solving it in your dream directly before bed (sounds hokey but I'll try it)
• Seek natural places, as they're usually the most complex (and therefore mentally enriching) environments.
• Creative pursuits are the most "durable" because the creation of something new is, by definition, surprising to you.
• Work with your hands.

Also, in the cutest possible outcome, which fits entirely with what I loved about Meditations: being generous or helping others actually engages both systems in the most satisfying way possible, which is why being selfless feels so good.

You're working towards a common good, which activates your dopamine because it implies a better future, but the satisfaction of helping also gives you in-the-moment pleasure. Which fits with a point that grit studies have proven; we're more likely to stick with (and be happiest in) those pursuits that both make us feel good and like we're contributing to the well-being of other people.

“There is also an emotional benefit for the giver. The hedonistic paradox states that people who seek happiness for themselves will not find it, but people who help others will.”

“In the control circuit, dopamine drives domination of the environment, not necessarily the people in it.”

“[Care for others] gives us the ability to tame the hedonistic urges of the desire circuit, suppressing immediate gratification to achieve something better.”

Overall Thoughts

I'll absolutely book club this in further detail, because it elegantly incorporates so much of what I love to talk about and think about—and everything I see in myself.

And on a broader, cultural level, the book leads you to be able to make clear connections between dopamine and our various activities/patterns—basically, how each of us moves through the world differently.

What we decide is important to us, how detail-oriented we are, how inclined we are to travel, how fast or slow time feels at a given time. What we remember. What we dream about. How we drink and date and work and participate in hobbies.

Oh, and for the record, it had some extremely, extremely cool ideas and studies about ways you can use the way your processing works to harness the capabilities of each system, so the tech-bro-neurohacker in me was absolutely thrilled by how weird some of the ideas were.

Also, my guy friends made fun of me when I tried to tell them about the study in here about how hand sanitizer can make voters more conservative—but I swear to God! This book has so many fun facts. And it's a favorite now.