You, Again by Kate Goldbeck

Can they stop hating each other long enough to fall in love?


A commitment-phobe and a hopeless romantic clash over and over again--until heartbreak and unexpected chemistry bring them together in this clever enemies-to-friends-to-lovers debut romance.

When Ari and Josh first meet, the wrong kind of sparks fly. They hate each other. Instantly.

A free-spirited, struggling comedian who likes to keep things casual, Ari sublets, takes gigs, and she never sleeps over after hooking up. Born-and-bred Manhattanite Josh has ambitious plans: Take the culinary world by storm, find The One, and make her breakfast in his spotless kitchen. They have absolutely nothing in common . . . except that they happen to be sleeping with the same woman.

Ari and Josh never expect their paths to cross again. But years later, as they're both reeling from ego-bruising breakups, a chance encounter leads to a surprising connection: friendship. Turns out, spending time with your former nemesis is fun when you're too sad to hate each other--and too sad for hate sex.

As friends-without-benefits, they find comfort in late-night Netflix binges, swiping through each other's online dating profiles, and bickering across boroughs. It's better than romance. Until one night, the unspoken boundaries of their platonic relationship begin to blur. . . .

With sharp observations and sizzling chemistry, You, Again explores the dynamics of co-ed friendship in this sparkling romantic comedy of modern love in all its forms.

I have no strong feelings towards When Harry Met Sally as a movie or piece of media, but I'm always down for an interesting friends-to-lovers story, as it's a topic I've been ruminating on a lot in my late twenties. Overall, I enjoyed You, Again but also found a lot to be picky about. There was a lot that worked and a lot that didn't; I underlined several quotes towards the end, which I rarely do within this genre, so think the topics were thoughtful even if the romance didn't fully grab me.

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First, the book takes place in third person, which is never something I love in contemporary romance. Third person makes me feel distant, so I nearly always prefer first, and that's such a subjective aspect of my reading taste; it's a lot harder for me to love a book that takes place in third, and so it starts at a handicap.

Ari is a struggling comic who prefers one night stands to genuine connection. Josh is the chip-on-his-shoulder son inheriting the iconic New York City deli—but dreaming of turning it into a Michelin star rather than a bland egg salad. They first meet when he's on a date in her apartment with her roommate (whom she's already hooked up with too) and both of them offend the other. Over the years, they run into each other randomly, at parties and on the streets, and once, when he fires her next roommate from a restaurant job. Eventually, they reconnect and start a tentative, uncertain friendship.

Josh and Ari were each fine. Ari was sex-crazed (and I don't mean that at all because of her sexuality—she's polyamorous, and for a while only hooks up with couples—but rather because it's probably ninety percent of her characterization) and Josh is judgmental. While I appreciated the nuances of their relationship and how they talked about it, I did feel like they as individuals were a little one-dimensional. Picky, but also if someone's a comic in a book, I fully expect them to be hilarious and I just didn't get that from Ari. It never even felt like she tried to be funny, so I think you could have plugged in any other job (actor, maybe?) and had the same result.

Ari was full of self pity; Josh was set in his ways, but otherwise more reasonable. Ari reminded me a lot of the main character from Fresh by Margot Wood: sexual to the detriment of any other personality. (That sounds harsh, but I just wish I'd understood anything more about her.)

The love story felt a little gritty, and maybe realistic to the jumbled way people encounter each other, which I appreciate in an era in which I've been ruminating over the people you keep around in your life and why. Sometimes the voice was harsh and brash for the sake of being harsh and brash, while I have a more romantic POV. It reminded me a lot of Birds of California by Katie Cotugno.

I did love that Ari was coming off a divorce from a marriage that started as a whim, but ended up meaning a ton to her. Her breakup was impactful and devastating, and you really saw how she could segue from that relationship into a next without diminishing the impact of the previous one. In general, I do feel like that's hard to convey in fiction so appreciated its nuance here. It almost reminded me of the type of heartbreak conveyed in the movie Someone Great: splintered, messy, and necessary. They were each flawed but understandable, even when they dug themselves into the ground.

The first half or so of the book took place over a series of time jumps. You'll flip pages and see three years later and then five months later. Then a good chunk of the book lingers at one specific point in time—maybe 30 percent, as I read it as an eBook. I was almost disappointed in this aspect. I wanted the book to either lean into the time jumps and commit to showing flashes of their relationship, or to deepen it enough in that period to stay there for good.

It's obviously a friends-to-lovers romance, but I don't really think the friendship was strong enough (or lasted long enough) to justify their gray-area middle ground. When the couple finally hooks up, they've only been hanging out for a few months. They hung out, but we didn't really get insight into their connection—more so knew that they watched bad movies together and wandered the city. That might seem like forever to some people of course, but I was expecting a multi-year, will-they-won't-they situation so felt a little like it cheapened the effect of the many lovely quotes about the line between friendship or relationship. I don't know. Maybe it fits with more of the "situationship" vibe many people encounter nowadays? But still, I expected more history by the time things turned romantic.

“It occurs to her that their friendship exists in a perfect, fragile bubble of right now. If Josh were five percent less picky, he'd have a rebound girlfriend. If the fog of breakup failure wore off tomorrow...well, Ari probably wouldn't be "dating" in the same way but she'd be a functional human who wouldn't need someone else to talk her to sleep over the phone several nights a week.”

In that same vein, because it wasn't satisfyingly friends-to-lovers to me, I felt like I wanted more in order for it to be a satisfying romance to make up for it. Like, if I'm not convinced their relationship is complicated by their genuine friendship and that's where the conflict stems from, I needed them to lean all into the swooning romance aspect and they didn't. I wanted more imagery, or connection, because it wasn't platonic but it wasn't really a sparky love story either. Josh went from 0 to 100 real quick, and Ari frequently blew up her life then moped about consequences. There wasn't always a middle ground, which is what I feel like was the whole point of When Harry Met Sally: the in-between.

“There's this idea of her that exists in his mind: where she's some kind of enigma, where the passcodes are always off by one number, where she almost opens up, but not quite.”

By the end of the book, I liked Ari and Josh well enough and saw why they liked each other, but I saw solely "liking." I felt like they could diverge and say goodbye to each other permanently and really not be worse off. I think I saw the friendship, but no "sizzling chemistry" like in the jacket copy.

So basically, their connection wasn't really compelling enough, but I did appreciate much of the book commentary even if I didn't feel like it was applicable to the two of them. I don't know; overall, I saw what the book wanted to do but didn't think it was quite effective. Still, I enjoyed the read for what it was.

I absolutely loved many of the quotes from this book. They were good and clear. Most of them peppered in at the end, and I found myself thinking how much I would have loved to encounter some of these conversations earlier in the book. I might have been wholly convinced by the story if so.

“Why are people so eager to bury a genuine friendship under the weight of a romantic relationship?”

I loved the thoughtfulness in its commentary—the clear, precise moments of analysis, even though they didn't always feel earned. I didn't really care about the characters one way or another. I liked it and am glad I read it, but wouldn't go out of my way to reread.

Best for readers who love:

When Harry Met Sally; Birds of California; Someone Great; Romantic Comedy; insightful dating musings; Fresh; Lover's Dictionary; I Wrote This For You.